Written by four Authors: Dr.Henry Cloud, Dr.John Townsend, Dave Carder and Dr.Earl Henslin
A book I never expect to tackle the itty gritty things in our family that we know are there but never brought to surface. It helped open my eyes to seeing the dysfunction in my family and what it has caused. It's teaching me on being vulnerable, To risk, to dare. To deal with the pattern that I need to break or else it will only continue. To accept the fact and the understanding of why things are how they are does ease the pain of confusion. To find that freedom once more that Jesus so graciously offer. But knowing there is a huge battle ahead. To learn and see my world differently. A new way in approaching what we always knew was there.
Little Stuff I Like From The Book
Pg.24 Time does not "heal all wounds" when it comes to family issues
Pg.29 Doing what it takes means abandoning the excuses you've been using for not getting better.
Pg.45 A pattern of pain is likely to be passed down the line unless something concrete is done to interrupt it.
Pg.74 When a child shuts down his painful emotional side, he also loses the ability to express his joyous side.
Pg.81 It can take a new couple many years, even a lifetime, to sort out which patterns from their receptive families of origin they want to keep and which they want to throw away.
Pg.90 How many of us belong to a group of christian friends where we feel safe talking about real life struggles?
Pg.90 When conversations are only about what is going well and nothing about each other's real life struggles or challenges, people become experts at hiding and covering up their pain.
Pg.96 If you did not have the skills to express your feelings, to be close, to be intimate, or to resolve conflicts before you become a christian, more than likely you will have trouble in those areas after you become a christian too.
Pg.96 having problems just means you have an opportunity to see God working within you life.
Pg.105 We can tell fairly quickly whether or not we will fit with a particular group of believers.
Pg.105 Skills for repairing Bonding Deflects
2. Become aware of your resistance to intimacy
3. Take risk with Emotional Issues
4. Allow yourself to feel the need for closeness
7. Begin to forgive your family for injuring you "bonding muscle"
Pg.139. Using "no" is like developing a muscle
Pg.142" We hurt ourselves and others if we shoulder the wrong load
Pg.166 Immaturity occurs when someone has not had the time or resources to achieve a level of growth that would enable him to perform in a certain way
Pg.173 Ask others to help you. That is real humility. Confessing your proud self instead of perpetuating the false humility of denying strengths.
Pg.175 It is liberating to discover that you do not need to be perfect and that you have the freedom to grow and gain support in those areas you might still be failing in.
Pg.179 Adulthood is the phase in life characterised by independence of choice and expression. An Adult is the master of whom he will serve because he decided things for himself.
Pg.186. We must be able to handle failure in order to assume adulthood need for idealism and perfection in all things is childish.
Pg.186. Adult must be able to shift into reality the real world is imperfect. We must be able to deal with imperfection in ourselves, in others, and in the world around us.
But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil. (Hebrew 5:14 ESV)
Pg.186The Goal is for parents to impart God's ways to the children and get them ready for independence.
Pg.195 Pursue your dreams. Share your dreams with God, and allow Him to shape them. The go for it.
Pg.211 To let go of something is the essence of serenity power.
-Ronald.F-
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